I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
