We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
