he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
