I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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