I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
