problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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