I'm drive I can fine osifer
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
