it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
