its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
