I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
