It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
