Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
MIDGETS
????
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
