i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
