Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
