Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
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