Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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