I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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