i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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