I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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