Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
