Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
