i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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