And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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