Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
