I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
