38 yer olds are good kisserssss
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
