so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
