Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
