Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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