If i come over, it means nothing
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
