...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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