remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
