Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Someone shattered a urinal.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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