It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
