Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
