He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
