after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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