im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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