You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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