For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
