there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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