so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
