"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
