I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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