I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
