I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
