Sry I called you an 8
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
