I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
