get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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