Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
