He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
do herpes really smell.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
