i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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