I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We need to rekindle our bromance
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
