Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I have already put on my inside pants.
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