apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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