are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
