The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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