i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
