Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
